Observation: humans and their foibles
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“The Body Never Lies”, Martha Graham
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Is this the adult version of The Growing Pains of Adrian Mole?
(listen to your Prana goddamit!)
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This is a true story; there was something going on, within, and I had no idea what it was. This is not mumbo jumbo. Trust me.
On a balmy morning, mid-week, mid-March and feeling ever so middle-of-the-road, a ‘voice’ was shouting out from inside and forcing me to listen. If you can picture the following: I’m alone, not nuts (yet), it’s intangible, it feels good, I’m sober, not hungry, pretty relaxed and content.
I’m not ranting about DAB radio and my new daily XFM religion, nor about the whistling kettle (never liked ultra-modern home apps), nor the landline whose ringtone I’ve never got on with, nor my neighbour’s electric drum-kit above my head (no lie).
Sitting close to the faithful laptop snugly ensconced in its candy pink Apple case on the kitchen table, I had to stop what I was doing. There was no other option up for offer.
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It was as though a cartoon set of images, playful and vibrant yet totally surreal, were doing countless laps through my centre, screaming at me to pay attention from huge Tom & Jerry-esque speech bubbles.
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I took a few breaths, let my system ‘be’ and breathed calmly.…..
Having long given up on the yoga sessions (please check out recent blog on boxing), attempts at meditation which included sitting alongside an image of the Dalai Lama, candle flame et al, ploughing through the modern versions of the bible today; aka self-help manuals, googling to oblivion, checking out horoscopes at a level which makes Almodovar’s masterpiece, ‘Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown’ seem like daily banter, I had made a recent decision to chill out, listen to my inner voice, do what makes me happy and most importantly, stimulate my mind and proactively make my own decisions and not rely on others for fruitful incentives for motivation.
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Something akin to a miracle was taking place deep within, and had in fact overtaken my body.
ullshit – I didn’t want to intrude!!
Deep inside my stomach, deeper than what you might think of as the ‘pit’, an almost out-of-body series of rhythms was taking control and a whirring sensation had begun – I willingly let it flow through my veins. I was having a moment of absolute bliss. I am telling this to you straight; it was analogous to a natural high and I can all but assimilate it to a new-found confidence – not cocky but comfortable.
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I was having a cathartic moment in the W9 kitchen, and one can only assume it meant positive vibrations, literally. Intuition was telling me this was all good.
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Forget the yoga classes, overpriced retreats and workshops, there was a whole lot of prana energy going through my body and it was as though blocks, locks and all things negative were being purged and removed.
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I’d had years of growing pains, teething dramas, not doing what I wanted to do, not being my own boss (which is fairly comical considering I am a freelancer with my own company), of hanging in the wrong places.
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I had finally found my own voice.
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Hello prana, welcome home and stay as long as you like, forever even.
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It felt amazing and my internal organs were having a ball. You know that scene in E.T. when E.T.’s tummy lights up? It was like that. It’s always been my favourite film of all time and after all these years, and countless moments of incredible cinema experiences since 1980, I now realise why.
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